2018 was a very uneven year when it came to my personal growth. The journey didn’t go as I would have liked or hoped, but in the end 2018 was filled with awesome memories that I would not trade for anything.
At first I’d like to mention that 2018 marked four years since my separation and divorce, and looking back on it all…
Getting divorced was the best thing that ever happened to me!
I have grown and matured more in the last four years than I had since probably my early twenties. Each year since the break-up in 2014 has been unique on its own:
2015: A year of hurt and anger
2016: A year of contemplation and uncertainty
2017: A year of strength and empowerment
Then there was 2018.
I felt in some ways that 2018 was a step backward. I’m not entirely proud of the person I was in 2018. I felt like I relapsed some (though not completely) to a person I used to be before my divorce, and I’m not proud of that. But I realize that growth is comprised of failure as much as it is realized by triumph. And overall I know I’m a better person than I was four years ago, minor setbacks and all.
For a variety of reasons, I wasn’t as outgoing in 2018 as I was the previous year, having retreated within myself a bit. This worked somewhat to my detriment from a social perspective. Looking back I know the reasons for this and I know what I need to do to make sure 2019 doesn’t repeat those same mistakes.
I didn’t write as much as I would have liked (to be fair, I never do), although I did get a new book to the publisher and with any bit of luck you’ll be holding a copy of it in your hands real soon!
So now I look forward to 2019.
For what it’s worth, I’m less than 24-hours into the New Year and so far it has been amazing! It was great from the get-go and only continued to improve throughout the day. I took a drive up to Snoqualmie Falls, a journey I always enjoy doing alone when possible. It wasn’t too busy there today, and the spray from the falls showered the viewing areas like rain. But it was still an incredible experience. Taking time to myself, staring at the power of nature in the falls, as I thought about life, the Universe, and everything, I closed my eyes and felt the mist on my face, allowing it to cleanse me of the tribulations of 2018 and prepare me for what is to come.
Now this is what I shall strive to accomplish in 2019:
- Create powerful and productive habits that take the place of the demotivating, unproductive, and time-consuming habits that allowed me to devolve last year.
- Make lifestyle changes that give me energy and empower and motivate me daily.
- Write more and see the publication of both Vampocalypse and Worry Less Live More.
- Work more aggressively on building my brand as an author; blog more; update my website more often.
- Exercise more and reinstate healthier eating habits, including reducing consumption of caffeine and energy drinks.
- Continue to eliminate negativities that distract and suck away energy.
- Become more environmentally conscious in the products I consume and the choices I make.
- Get a new tattoo. Or two. Or three.
2019 is going to be my year. Yes, that sentiment has been said before. But somehow this time it’s different. When I’ve said or thought that before, I’ve fully believed it, but this year I not only believe it, I feel it. That feeling manifested itself in the amazing day I had today. And while I know not every day is sure to be as incredible, I am looking forward to 2019 with excitement and ambition like I haven’t felt in a while. I promise to share my journey with you – through words and pictures, stories and quotes.
2019 is going to be filled with amazing and exciting milestones, the heights of which I have never before realized. And the best part is that you will all be there with me! Thank you all for sticking with me through 2018. I promise – promise – 2019 will deliver the great payoff that life has been preparing to provide!
Author E.S.Brown 